Unwell.

You like to think that you're immune to the stuff.

Where do we go from here?

The short answer, you should know, is...Well, somewhere. The real answer is something along the lines of, Well, somewhere, definitely. But more than likely, that somewhere will be a place IP-geographically other than here.

Which is one way of saying See you around. There are any number of personal and/or philosophical reasons why things can't simply change around here, but I simply don't think I want (or need) to explain. At least, not here. Changes have to be made. Taking an indefinite hiatus from Unwell. is a step towards making those changes.

I may be back.

(I wouldn't hold my breath, if I were you.)

Can you hear me now?

Marian Seltzer buried her late husband with his cellphone fully charged. Now, three years later, she still pays his Verizon bill monthly and leaves him frequent voicemails. He, uh, doesn't get them.

Contract Killer.

When times get tough, it can often feel like there are no good people left in the world, only people who haven’t yet turned bad. These bad people will go back on their word, welch on a deal, put themselves first. You owe it to yourself to stay on top. You owe it to yourself to ensure that no matter how bad things get, you’ll come away clean. You owe it yourself and your business not to be the guy lying bleeding in an alley with a slug in your gut...[W]hen times get tough and people get nasty, you’ll need more than a killer smile to save you. You’ll need a killer contract too. —Andy Clarke, via 24 ways (to Impress Your Friends)

Here, there, and everywhere.

Miscellaneous things:

• Why does war result in more boys being born?
• Top 10 Incredible Self Surgeries.
• World's First Computer Rebuilt, Rebooted After 2000 Years.
• Best Present Ever: Uncut U.S. Currency.

And finally, just because I can: Robert Plant's favorite Led Zeppelin cover band:

The Amish Bus Driver Rule.

Should you make a flowchart?

Really: should you make a flowchart? Let's make a flowchart and decide!

(See also: A Guide to Understanding Flow Charts [Presented in Flow Chart Form])

A Microwave Christmas.

(—AKQA, via Neatorama)

There's no stopping this man.

Remember Usain Bolt? He's the Jamaican sprinter who barely even broke a sweat in Beijing this past year when he broke every Olympic record in front of him. The 100 meter world record wasn't even a challenge, as he ran it in 9.69 seconds, celebrating for the last 10-15 meters. He then took down Michael Johnson's 200 meter world record—one which had stood for 12 years.

But wait, there's more: Sporting News is reporting that he's going to start running the 400-meter, and there is very little doubt he can easily shatter this nine year-old record as well—one also owned by Johnson, at 43.18. Whoosh.

World War.

World War - 3D Animation @ University Of Hertfordshire 2008 from Digital Animation Herts Uni UK(—via Boing Boing Gadgets)

Elephants.

Hamster on a Piano (Eating Popcorn).

5 Job Interview Questions That Mean You’re Not Getting Hired… And One That Means You Are.

Rote questions deserve rote answers. If you prepare your own 5-6 sentence response to each of the questions above and practice them until they sound completely fluid and natural, you can walk into any office with style and confidence and interview for literally hundreds of jobs.

And you probably won’t get hired for any of them. —Clarence Ewing

The most thorough test of a car ever.

Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson was tasked with giving a thorough, exhaustive review of the all new 2009 Ford Fiesta. He did. And given that we're in the middle of talking government bailouts for the auto industry and all, my perfectly innocent (and yet frequently voiced) question is this: Why the @#$% can't I get this car? Really? Oh: I have to wait until late 2009? Why? Why haven't I been able to get this car until now-ish? Don't give me the "It's too expensive to manufacture this car to meet U.S. standards" bit; that sounds suspiciously like, "We can't make enough of a profit on it to make it worthwhile."

In the meantime, over in Europe:

Sigh.

Dear Ford: You. Stupid. Fucks. No, you can't expect to make the same shortsighted, gluttonous profits you made by putting different bodies on an F-150 chassis for decades. But you're not making a profit on anything right now. The Ford Fiesta, quite pleasantly outfitted, runs...what? $16,250? Have you dumb fucks noticed that cars like the Honda Fit and even your last-generation, weak-ass Focus have been flying off dealers' lots, usually loaded with options? There's a market need, even when gasoline incomprehensibly flirts with the lowest prices we've had in five years. Fill the need.

It's over. Let's move on. Oh, and by the way...

I didn't raise the stupidity of the sacred constitutional principle claim before, because much more important than that in my view, was that people recognize that the Constitution means nothing if a majority of Americans reject it. If this were to come to pass, the principles could not be enforced. In the second place, conservatives need to recognize and accept that they lost the election and it is important for Americans to accept their new president. He may do things, AS PRESIDENT, that will cause them to oppose him, and that is fine. But first they need to accept him as President, because that is the way our constitutional system works. And it is the only way it works. —David Horiwitz

Jizz. In. My. Pants.

In case you missed it: the first single from "Incredibad," the coming as soon as February to a download area near you debut album by The Lonely Island, best known for their hilarious short videos on Saturday Night Live (SNL Digital Shorts).

Lunch Bag Art.

He's a dad. He hand draws an amazing illustration on his kids' lunch bags everyday, photographs them and puts them up on his blog:

 

I want this on a t-shirt:

 

—Lunch Bag Art

Darth Vader tries to become a priest.

(—via TheForce.net)

What if...?

I love these Nextel commercials. I wish life actually worked this way.

Prop. 8: The Musical!

This. Could. Be. Interesting.

Tim Ferriss, who wrote the best-selling book "The 4-Hour Workweek", has created a pilot for "Trial by Fire", a new TV show on The History Channel. The concept behind the show is that he has one week to learn something that normally takes 5-20 years to master. The show airs Thursday, December 4th at 11pm ET/PT and again on Friday, December 5th at 3am ET/PT.

"Tough times unfortunately mean tough measures."

FORT WORTH, TX—Cash-strapped American Airlines announced a new series of fees this week that will apply to all customers not currently flying, scheduled to fly, or even thinking about flying aboard the commercial carrier.

The fees, the latest introduced by American Airlines in a continuing effort to combat its financial woes, will take effect on Monday. According to company officials, these charges will include a $25 tax on citizens traveling with any other airline, as well as a mandatory $30 surcharge for passengers who decide to just stay home for the holidays instead.

I've got good news and bad news.

Only a male could have written this. (I'm not quite sure what that implies.)

Lines at the ER, a television boom, emptying suburbs.

Depression, 2009: What Would It Look Like? (—via MetaFilter)

I know what you are thinking...and you are such a pervert.

There are times when you can't help but wonder what the folks responsible for translating Japanese game dialogue into English must be thinking. Because...well...um...

Fine. As if I'm the only one left giggling like I'm a South Park character watching this.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

I mean, really: if you're going to attend a The Price is Right show taping on your nineteenth birthday, it can't get much better than this:

Everything, really, everything is better with bacon.

This...is...just...so...wrong. And yet...

Obama and The Presidency.

Welcome back...!

The latest Improv Everywhere mission featured 20 IE agents personally welcoming home complete strangers as they arrive at JFK airport. Brilliant.

I met this girl in New York. Now she's everywhere.